Following the Lib Dem‘s clamber aboard the Taylor Swift bandwagon to have her made a Freeman of London, fans are now taking part in a social media campaign to have their idol made a Companion of Honour.

While Taylor might relish the privileges of roaming her sheep toll-free and being immune from arrest when drunk, it is unlikely to become reality.

After Ariana Grande‘s Manchester show was bombed in 2017, then-BBC host Jon Sopel tweeted to the late Queen: ‘Dear Your Majesty, how about a Damehood for @arianagrande in the birthday honours. She has been MAGNIFICENT.’

Nothing came of it.

Taylor Swift performs on stage at Wembley Stadium in London on August 15
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Taylor Swift performs on stage at Wembley Stadium in London on August 15

After the news 10 Downing Street is drawing up plans for when Larry the Cat heads for that great cattery in the sky, clergyman and Critic magazine columnist the Reverend Marcus Walker cheekily asks: ‘But who will lead the BBC coverage now Huw Edwards is disgraced?’

Will Noel and Liam be warbling their hit Whatever during the Oasis reunion tour?

They still have to part with 20 per cent of the royalties to the estate of the late-Rutles star Neil Innes after it was proved the 1994 song bore a striking resemblance to titular song How Sweet To Be An Idiot from his 1973 album.

Thirty-six years after actor Roy Kinnear fatally fell off a horse filming in Spain, his son Rory, remains in contact. 

Aged ten when he lost his dad, he tells Radio Times that he still sees him in dreams. 

‘I am able to go into that imagined landscape and have a hug from him and talk with him,’ he says. ‘It’s a wonderful thing, what we are able as humans to do with our imaginative life.’

Rory Kinnear, whose father Roy Kinnear died after he fell off a horse while filming The Return Of The Musketeers in Spain, in 1988
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Rory Kinnear, whose father Roy Kinnear died after he fell off a horse while filming The Return Of The Musketeers in Spain, in 1988

Official verification that the Shroud of Turin dates from the time of Christ will have the late Professor Teddy Hall spinning in his grave.

When an earlier Vatican examination concluded it was medieval, ardent atheist Teddy jumped for joy declaring: ‘Someone got a piece of linen and faked it up and flogged it.’

Princess Margaret’s thirst for gin prompts former RAF officer Andrew Brookes to recall standing to attention as HRM’s plane was taking off. 

‘Halfway down the taxiway it turned back,’ he tells The Times. ‘The VIP aircraft was out of gin and replenishments from the officers’ mess were needed.’

Princess Margaret (left) and Queen Elizabeth (right) stand next to the Queen Mother as she waves to admirers on her 100th birthday celebration August 4, 2000
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Princess Margaret (left) and Queen Elizabeth (right) stand next to the Queen Mother as she waves to admirers on her 100th birthday celebration August 4, 2000

Nouvelle cuisine creator Michel Guerard, who died last week, also invented the ultra-healthy but miniscule ‘minceur’.

One food critic once declared: ‘If you want to find the meat, look under the pea.’